Transitions, Clarity & Grief

At the beginning of this year, I asked the Lord for a word and felt Him say, “Transition”.

I already knew I’d be transitioning out of my current role at work and there were other transitions in my sphere, so that made some sense, but I had no idea how transcendent that word would be!

Something I’ve discovered about myself over the last couple years is how much I thrive in Clarity! Regardless of how tough a situation is (or feels), I can handle it or figure it out as long as I know what’s happening – as long as I have Clarity. 

The last month and a half has been a whirlwind of changes and updates and waiting. It seems that every facet of my life has been flipped upside down – some things have flipped more than once. The figurative roller coaster is real! 

Along with the rest of the world, my clarity has vanished and it’s been tough! What I’ve realized in the last day or so, though, is how much I’ve clung to my own personal Clarity…and how disoriented I am without it! 
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with clarity, but there’s a problem when I let it be an idol – when I cling to the clarity instead of clinging to the Father. Or maybe when I’m clinging to the Father with one hand and My Clarity with the other. Ouch! 

So, thanks God, for perspective.

For me, letting go of my desire (yes, desire, not need) for clarity is hard! But I know letting go allows me to be available for my Father’s best for me.

I will choose to grieve my desire for clarity and cling a little tighter to the Father because He’s worth it. I will choose to trust him with my job and my housing and the people I care about and the future and all the things that are so unknown and ambiguous. 

I’m grateful that the God who spoke “transition” to me four months ago knew the circumstances I’d be in today. There are no surprises to Him and everything is going to be ok!